Yes, Ma'am, you- the in the back row...

Don't you just love it when you go to church and you feel like the message was especially for YOU? Like your own personal communication from God. Now I KNOW God knows and hears everything but I am accustomed to receiving this on a private level.
Ordinarily in church it is the kind of message where you nod your head in agreement, and stifle the urge to shout out "Amen!" on a really good point. But Sunday, the pastor delivered the kind of message where you begin to feel a little warm, and you look over your shoulder to make sure there are no hidden cameras, and you try not to bop yourself in the head (for being an idiot) in the crowded sanctuary.
Remember the last post about how I was feeling concerned about talking too much? Guess what! Ephesians 5:4 - "Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking which are out of place..." The passage, in context, is about how being salt and light requires different attitudes and behaviors. I don't think that saying things that are silly or fun are wrong, but I do feel convicted to work on speaking in a positive way that will build people up (when I'm in a bad mood, frustrated or angry), and keeping more criticism to myself. On a tangent, I can even apply this to my latest parenting difficulties - less criticism and more even keeled calm. (Ah, slamming doors - I JUST got an opportunity to practice!)

Anyway, I think even more obviously I need to LISTEN more, and talk less. When God wants to tell you something, it comes as a pebble, and if you don't listen, a rock, then a brick and so forth. Good thing I figured it out before it became a headline on the 5 o'clock news! And hopefully, I will rest easy next week because surely I have moved to the end of the line.

The Quickest Way to Reveal Yourself as a Fool

I think I talk too much. Really. My blabbing gets worse when I'm nervous or when I'm drinking wine. You may not think that an "over talker"cares, and yet, I am a person who dissects what I said "post-get together." Did I say too much? Did that come out right? I often think that perhaps I should have just kept it to myself. I very much admire people who have the ability to foresee the effect of their words. They share them sparingly, and when they do it seems profound. Or the people who always know what to say, even in the most socially desolate situation. I panic and say something I know is stupid just to get a laugh, because silence with people I don't know makes me uncomfortable. And then later I bop myself on the forehead for being an idiot. On the other hand, people who lack conversational skills and refuse to reveal their thoughts drive me absolutely crazy. Perhaps this is what led to my belief of "always being honest." While it seems admirable in theory, remember that honesty and opinions are not the same. The truth will set you free, but the truth according to your own personal beliefs will not lead to the same result. I was once told that, "Not everyone can handle your brand of honesty." After months of processing I took that to mean, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." Which is something I tell my daughter repeatedly. But that is because she is small and I am exhausted from hearing her complain! There are a few people that I know I can go "off-filter" with, because they love me regardless. At the same time, I believe that you are responsible for what you say. Once it leaves your mouth, it is open to interpretation so you better choose your words wisely. This stifles me. I walk a weird line between being viewed as a snob (for not talking) being ridiculous (for over talking) and being thoughtful (to only say what I have considered first.) And writing counts too. Maybe this is why the blogging creators invented the "draft" folder. Wouldn't it be nice to have a draft folder for life?

Soft Scrub

Few things in life are as easy as this stuff. I have been a loyal soft scrubber for several years. Then I ran out. I tried to substitute it with my fabulous tub cleaner, but it just couldn't get it as clean and pretty. I scrubbed, and did the lather, rinse, repeat - didn't work. That's what I get for being cheap and not buying another bottle asap. I am telling you when I poured it on, rubbed ever so gently - baboom! Clean- 20 seconds tops. This has gotten me to thinking about other purchases for which I have not discovered an adequate substitute:

Deli cheese (vs. the processed American cheese food product version)

Hair color at the salon (vs. a do it yourself box)

All the costs associated with a date night for me and dh that is out of the house and without the kids

Bottled water (vs. tap water)

Hallmark store Christmas ornaments and Hallmark cards

Pre-moistened face cleaning towelettes (vs. "I'll just wash the make-up off in the morning")

Every single last penny spent on a weekend away with my best girlfriends

Produce from Sprouts, Central Market, or Target (vs. Walmart)

Nikon digital SLR camera (vs. the "point and shoot" kind)

My gym membership (vs. my waining commitment to any exercise at home program that is within 100 feet of my living room couch)

Parenting Tip #537: Minimize a Potentially Scarring Experience

Don't make it a big deal. My five year old sings about "makin love" at the top of her lungs all day long.... This is not because her father and I had a pole installed in our bedroom, watch prime time TV, or have given her any mental images she will describe later in therapy. I think it evolved in her singing from having love, to giving love, then to growing love and finally to makin' love. The girl sings about pizza, shoes, and bubbles - making up songs and phrases is nothing new. I view it as a natural progression in verb awareness. However, her daddy, upon hearing this new phrase didn't see it as such and attempted to discourage her with an honest speech about how it was an inappropriate phrase and she would learn more about it later, and he didn't want to hear about it again. The next day, as we loaded up the mini van for church, the girl was once again singing about makin' love and her daddy earnestly once again gave the speech (despite my gestures across the car). That put a stop to it on Sunday, however when dh was working on Monday, the girl spent the day singing about, you guessed it - makin' love! When dh came home, I told him the girl was makin' love all day long. I tried not to laugh. "Sometimes, it's better just to ignore it - cross your fingers and pray they forget." Like the time she tried out the phrase, "Oh my God!" like a little old lady from New Jersey. Or the time she asked me, "Mommy are you going to have another baby?" when I slouched in my chair at the dinner table. Or today when her mother and grandmother took her into a cigar bar to buy a present for her uncle (who had just become a new daddy) and the bikers gave us mean looks across the smoke filled room and there were dirty posters on the wall.... oops!

Be Sweet, Ditty!

Summer is a time of lazy schedules and lots of together time. Today was an indication that maybe I need to get out a little more. This became apparent to everyone in the room when I told the cat (in a sweet encouraging voice) not to swat at the toddler. Cats don't speak English. Sometimes, my kids don't either. But I have become so accustomed to saying things like, "use your fork," "walk in the house," "sit down on the couch," and "share that with your brother," that it just slipped out; much to the amusement of my mother.

Bluebonnet Baby's Birthday

On this day five years ago, and 1 PM exactly, she was born, my girl. In that time she:

Has gained 30 inches and 20 pounds

Learned to crawl, walk, run, bounce, skip, tumble, and she's working on swimming

Traveled by airplane, riverboat, DART, car seat, and tricycle (which she despises)

Swam in the Gulf, learned to write her name, got x-rays in the ER, moved three times, became an awesome big sister, completed preschool, and saw the Hannah Montana movie

Decided that she has two absolute favorite colors: pink and purple.

And changed her mind about socks, apples, participating in gymnastics, and ponytails.

For fun she makes up songs and dances, draws pictures, plays with her brother, reads books, dresses up like a princess, looks at photo albums, follows Mommy around and talks incessantly

She is inquisitive, silly, clever, energetic, trusting, strong willed, affectionate, creative, and she has an amazing memory.

Ignoring her or serving spaghetti for dinner drive her crazy.

It makes her happy when she can be helpful, go through the drive-thru, or play Wii bowling.

When her brother wakes up, she goes into his room and entertains him and reads stories.

Her greatest challenge is doing something (requiring practice) that is difficult.

She over-licks the envelopes because she likes the taste.

Dresses are her favorite thing to wear, and she evaluates them based on the spin factor.

Blankie, the pink blanket she has been sleeping with since birth, has a bubbly personality and accompanies her on every adventure.

At night, she needs to be tucked in at least twice.

She's afraid of dogs, but she wants one. She is tenderhearted, but will stand up for herself.

Constantly I am amazed by this girl. She is bright and beautiful and healthy.

I thank God for her everyday.

Dear Abbies - An Internal Concern

Dear Abbies,

I am a huge fan of yours! I admire your work constantly - most notably on the washboards of Justin, Brad, and that lady with the brand new baby at the pool this morning. I want to start by thanking you for supporting my back, I do enjoy the privilege of walking, bending, and the ability to lift my children. And, thank you very much also for your flexibility in the process of creating those children. I appreciate that you were able to relax and make room for a new life on the planet.

About that, we need to talk... it seems like you have changed. You haven't been the same. It began slowly, and I thought if I just left you alone you would come around. But you haven't. Did I do something wrong? You aren't nearly as tight and angular as I remember. It is concerns me that one side pooches out a little farther, courtesy of baby number two, and that has not been remedied as of yet. Did you notice? Or have you just lost your motivation? On a more serious note, I have to be honest here, I am offended by the jiggling. I glanced in the mirror as I walked to the closet, and there you were, bouncing with a Santa like quality. I assure you, I would be more jolly if you would just hold still. And, we really do need to address the issue of loosing your form in jeans; "muffin top." Abbies, it is not attractive for you to hang out like you "just don't care."

I know it has been awhile since you have seen the light of day. I have recommitted this summer cardio on the treadmill. I swear I will tuck, imprint, and breathe properly in Pilate's class. I'm eating an enormous amount of vegetables, and I promise not to poke at you in public anymore. In exchange I want you to move in, towards my spine. I expect that you will rein in your rebellious behavior and stay within the boundaries of my waistband, at all times. And have some pride, show off those lines, they are so beautiful! Thank you for your consideration, I value your support. Yours Truly, Biscuit